Past, Present and Future

Aku bukan nak bercakap mengenai Tenses:Past, Present and Future tense... Tapi more to what has happened, is happening and about to. This is more to myself. Nothing to do with other people.

The past for me is history, a lesson, a nightmare(to some people) that they wish they didnt have to think and go thru. As the past has gone, still we cant forget it totally. The past is what has made us become like who we are today. As who i am, now. As a saying says, "Let bygones be bygones". Yeah..it is indeed. People like to advise others, " Forget it...dont look back..dont think about it." True. Yes. I dont want to. But there's a time when i feel like my past is haunting me. When i lose control on what is real and not real. I forget about being sensible. I will lose control. Im a kind of person who dont like to think too much about the past..It is a memory yet it teaches me to grow up and be a better person, in some ways. But when my past affects others' lives and leave such a big impact to them, i cant say how sorry i am for having such bad and painful past that i have to share with them, without their willingness. They have to endure the pain and Im sorry for that.


The agony and misery are almost unbearable to them, to accept me the way i am now. Im not a perfect human being and im not a hypocrite by saying, "Im a perfect person who never makes mistake in my life". Im not a hypocrite. I admit that. Sometimes i hope i can remain strong like this. Sometimes i juz cant find my way...it's a long winding road. There's no straight line here. This life demands more than that.

Present is what i care the most rite now.Im not gonna say everything is fine and there's no problem. There are problems. People lie when they say, they have no problems at all. Problems are always there....but, how u perceive and look at the problems, is different. I appreciate what i have now. I appreciate the life that i have now. I appreciate the people around me. Ive learnt a lot. I made some people lost their trust in me-serve me rite!. I shouldn't have listen to other people's words that easily-backstabbing and accusing other people. I should have listen to my own judgement and instinct. Listen to my heart.

Im trying to mend the broken heart of mine. Im trying to fix things and make them better. Im trying to be a better person coz i care about what i have now. I dont wanna lose those precious things. Eventho i can survive being a loner, but i cant lie how much i want myself to be comforted by others, to be needed by others and to be taken as an important person in their lives. I want to be heard. I want to be listen.

Future is one part of my life that im not certain with. Im working towards a better future. I do hope it's gonna a great...a better one. Anything can happen, thats what i can confirm. A hepi ending? A sad one? Or combination? Im not sure....i can pray...and hope for the best one. InsyaAllah...May Allah S.W.T guide me and all of u and show us the right path...I accept whatever that comes willingly. InsyaAllah..Amin.

CUDA..